


Locked

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:03:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Jack, you’re not entirely happy with her...are you?”<br/>The fact was, he’d been right. And Jack's locked up feelings were picked free all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Locked

 Keeping everything inside had taken its toll on Jack. He was far too used to holding his worries and secrets deep inside of him, locked away where even the most skilled lock-picks could never even hope to uncover it all. Ryan had gotten close though, without even knowing it. Just by being Ryan he’d come so close to unlocking and unpicking everything inside of Jack that he’d wanted to keep away from prying eyes. He was tired of wanting and never getting, hurting and never repairing, but above all loving and never being loved back. Just watching Ryan live and breathe and do well without him, so close but never quite near enough and existing without ever feeling what Jack felt was enough for him to keep guarded. Until he saw even that glimpse of something similar to the ache in his chest and the light in his eyes, he wouldn’t ever let anyone into probably the biggest secret he had - and that one act ruined him.

Jack waited, and hoped that maybe something would come to light. That all the wanting looks and the screaming in his head would somehow catch Ryan’s attention. That somehow maybe he’d return everything in his heart and mind without that risk of being picked apart once again, because there was only so many times Jack could try and repair his broken esteem. With each day that went by, the hope flickered and waned and left his head a dark place to live again. The vibrant flicker of hope that had once consumed him in the beginning of this spiral had died to a bed of ashes, leaving him with nothing but a smoke trail of optimism. Eventually, the fog cleared, and no hope was left to keep him going, to keep him waking up every morning and wondering if Ryan would notice. He woke up with the intention of moving on.

Time seemed to pass so slowly after that, as though there was nothing to keep the clock ticking over. For once, each day was a push of will and he lost interest in everything around him. But when he was proposition to a date by a woman he vaguely knew and might have liked under different circumstances, he took the opportunity with forced enthusiasm, and never realized the hole that he’d dig for himself. Whether as a way to catch Ryan’s eye or as a distraction, he never knew why he said yes. The mask deepened and his feelings became shadowed under a pretense that this woman was everything he should want and should be happy with, and right up until his engagement that facade was able to keep strong, even with a ring on his finger and a promise he’d already broken.

Jack thought that he’d have changed his mind, that he’d somehow fall in love with this woman like he had done Ryan, but there was no ounce of truth in that and there never would be. He was lying to himself every single day, and killing a part of himself the process. Each day he went to work he pretended to soak up the congratulations and forced himself to seem happy over the decision he’d made and for a while, he thought he was okay, that he could go through with it and be content. But then Ryan did as he’d always done before, and was able to pick him apart with a few words. With one question, no ounce of accusation or humour, just a slight air of worry lining those words, he was able to rip the mask that Jack had held so tightly over his face. Jack could have acted outraged, or angry, simply disgusted that Ryan would even ask such a question.

  “Jack, you’re not entirely happy with her...are you?”

But the fact was, he’d been right. And Jack's locked up feelings were picked free all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/49960222866/locked


End file.
